~ A "Letters from Silicon Valley" Series ~

"Surround yourself with positive people…" was the advice one of my psychology professors at Oregon gave me as I started my career, "…because behavior, attitudes, and beliefs are contagious." My experience tells me that he was right and there’s growing research to support his assertion.

We all know that we are influenced by our friends. Research indicates that people up to three degrees of separation have influence upon us. Not only are we influenced by our friends and colleagues, but their friends also have some influence on us, and even those people’s friends exert some influence on us. There is also new research that points to the power of mirror neurons in influencing our emotions and behavior, illustrating that the axiom of “monkey see, monkey do” is true. With these things in mind, it’s helpful to pick our friends & co-workers wisely and to be aware of what their other friends are like. 

We evolved to think and do as the crowd does and many studies have looked at the impact of social norms. You may have heard of a well-known experiment about a hotel that wanted to see what message would be most effective in swaying guests to reuse towels. In one set of rooms there was a sign with an environmental message. In another set of rooms there was a sign that stated a social norm: most guests of the hotel use a towel more than once. In the rooms that simply stated the social norm, there was a much higher rate of reused towels. It was concluded that guest behavior was positively influenced by the perceived behavior of others.

Doing things to stay positive, like having positive friends, might even help you land and keep a job. At one technology company in Silicon Valley where I was the head of HR, I worked with a very experienced Vice President of Engineering. When filling positions in his department, time and again he chose candidates who went to less prestigious schools than other candidates, even though he himself had graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in the country. When I asked him about this, he shared that he had learned the hard way that a positive attitude and demonstrated teamwork abilities were more important than where someone went to school; he cared more about the social influence a new employee would exert on the team than what school they graduated from. The results spoke for themselves: his team collaborated and supported one another to create great products. Over time, I came to admire his wisdom, and he also reminded me of my former professor’s advice.

Remember these tips:
 

• Limit your exposure to negative people.
• Seek out and spend time with supportive, positive, likeable people.
• Remember that you influence people, so be a leader and consciously exert positive influence on those around you. Your influence on other people might in turn benefit you when they behave and communicate positively with you.
  
   

May you surround yourself with positive people and have much success.

Go Ducks!

Contact:
Humberto Chacon
humberto@chacon.us