My transition from being a student to a “real” adult was a mixed bag. There was relief and freedom from not always needing to be checking academic boxes and, at the same time, fear of the unknown: questions of “Now what?” and self-doubt. After 19 years of school, part of me missed the structure and the environment where I knew the rules and how to perform. Learning to navigate a new work-life balance had, and continues to have, new challenges. However, here are a few tips I picked up along the way that help me manage stress and maintain balance in my life.

Boundaries

Once I started a full-time job, maintaining boundaries between my professional and personal life was actually easier than it had been when I was a full-time student. As a student, I felt constant pressure to meet assignment deadlines, take advantage of every opportunity, and never say no, even if it meant working for free, which meant a minimum of 12-hour days to fit everything in, including weekends. Working only 40 hours a week felt like a dream. From the beginning, I was very intentional about not checking email outside of work hours and setting better boundaries about not taking on more than I could actually handle in a work week. This really helped me create, for the first time, more of a balance between work and home.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about lying on your resume about skills and experience or not asking for help. What I mean here is: don’t let imposter syndrome prevent you from engaging in your work or trying new things. I don’t love doing presentations, but that’s a significant part of my job. I have presentation skills and I do it often enough that most of my audiences don’t know that I had stress dreams the night before or that my tummy hurts in anticipation of public speaking. I have to remind myself regularly that I have something to contribute, that my experiences are valid, that I know things, and I was hired for a reason.

Setting Realistic Expectations

I’ve learned it’s important to not only have realistic expectations for yourself, but also for others. For myself, I’ve been working on what projects and opportunities I actually have time and energy for and what can actually be completed in a certain timeline. I’ve also learned that I can’t expect my supervisor or colleagues to be mind readers. I need to share appropriately if I’m struggling and that it’s okay to ask for clarification or help so I can do my job better.

Maintain Perspective

This is a big one for me and often goes hand-in-hand with setting realistic expectations. I will write myself a to-do list right before I leave work of all the tasks I want to accomplish the next day. Then at the end of the next day I look at the list and I’ve maybe completed two to three things, but added four things. Oof. I have to ask myself, “Do I REALLY need to send this email today? Or can it wait until tomorrow?” Or if I’m on vacation and there’s an important project going on that I feel guilty about missing I’ll ask myself, “Is it REALLY that important that YOU’RE involved in this? Can you trust your colleagues to manage it while you’re gone?” Or sometimes even when work is a source of stress for whatever reason my maintaining perspective is reminding myself to be grateful that I have a job, and a job that is usually a positive, healthy place.

I’ve found that change and transition is fairly constant, and while that can keep things interesting and exciting, it also doesn’t ever allow me to feel like I’ve mastered life. In the meantime, I rely on these four things to try to maintain a healthy balance. I hope you discovered some helpful nuggets from my experience and also find what works best for you.

It’s hard to believe that less than a year ago I was in my last year of undergraduate studies, panicking about finding a job after graduation. Fast forward to now, and I’m gainfully employed, still living in Eugene, and working at the University Counseling Center.

Growing up, I was taught that going to college was essential so that I could find a job. Now I’ve gone to college and found a job, but I can’t help but keep thinking, “Well, now what? I did the thing, what’s next?” These are questions that I haven’t quite figured out the answers to. I’m slowly learning that not having all the answers is okay. In fact, I’m starting to realize that most people don’t have it figured out. It’s my hope to share some of my experiences struggling through figuring it out in the transition from school to the real world, and how I have managed my stress along the way.

Adjusting to the Workplace

My job at the counseling center was far from my first job. However, at my previous jobs I was always a working student. Now I’m just working. Being a student has been integrally tied to my identity since I was self-aware enough to have a sense of identity. I didn’t feel like a different person after I graduated, and yet, the very next day, I went to work at a place where I was the youngest person by a decade. I felt inadequate. I worried about sharing my opinions and my voice for fear of being judged, or not seeing the bigger picture because of my age.

This feeling hasn’t gone away completely, but I’m able to recognize that feeling of inadequacy isn’t uncommon among young people, particularly among women and people of color. I was relieved to learn there’s a term for what I was feeling: imposter syndrome. Naming it doesn’t make the feeling go away. It’s still there, following me into meetings and presentations, but I have found that reminding myself what’s going on can be helpful. Talking through this experience with my mentors has also been reassuring: they’ve gone through the same experiences I have, and they remind me that if I wasn’t qualified for my job, they wouldn’t have hired me.

When these moments of uncertainty get challenging, there are a few things I do that help me cope during the work day:

• Talk it out. Sharing how I’m feeling with a colleague can be validating, but also sometimes just verbalizing my thoughts can help me work through a difficult time.
• Take a walk. If I’m ever feeling frustrated, or uncertain, it can be really helpful for me to go for a walk. My preference is to walk outside, especially if the sun is shining, but sometimes even walking to a different part of the building or a loop through our office suite can help me reset.
• Listen to music or a podcast. I constantly have music playing in my office. This is mostly ambient noise, but I find it comforting, and occasionally taking a moment to really listen and appreciate what’s playing can be refreshing.

Stress Management Without Homework

After years of school, I was no stranger to stress or managing stress. The only difference is that now my time after 5:00 p.m. is my own. The lack of structure allowed me to choose how to spend my time, and also how to decompress my stress from the work day. This newfound freedom sometimes led to me spending an evening on the couch catching up on TV and movies that I had missed in the past four years, and it has allowed me to explore new hobbies and interests like yoga, volunteering in the community, and trivia around town.

It has also given me more time to attend to some more basic needs. Sometimes I come home from work exhausted, and I finally have the time to listen to my body and can rest and recuperate. For the first time, I can pay attention to my needs and pursue my interests to my heart’s desire. Maintaining that perspective of newness and excitement has been helpful when I get lost in the challenges of this transition.

I think no matter where you land after college, it can be a difficult time. It’s okay to struggle as I’ve struggled, and many people feel this way, although it isn’t always reflected on social media and in conversations with old classmates. Maintaining perspective, looking to the resilience you’ve built over years of school, and having a genuine conversation with someone you care for and trust can help.